Many people say that love and self-control are the bookends that hold the rest of the fruit of the Spirit together. While the word of God doesn’t say this, I find it confirming that ‘love’ is the first fruit listed in Galatians 5:22 and ‘self-control’ is the last one mentioned. For our finale post in the “When Fruit Speaks” series, I want to share how God taught me the importance of self-control.
I remember I used to have these snap reactions that felt so crazy to me. It was as if someone else was controlling my emotions. It would be the smallest thing setting me off, then, when I calmed down, I would come back to myself and wonder what happened. God spoke to me about self-control and how without it, I would end up destroying my life. Self-control is the ability to manage impulses, emotions, and desires, especially in difficult situations. I love this. Self-control matters most when we’re able to bring our emotions, desires, and impulses under the control of the Holy Spirit, particularly in difficult situations. Here are a few tips to implement as we conclude our journey through the fruit of the Spirit:
1) Look at self-control as the key that will take you to the next level in your submission to God. The word of God says He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32). This verse speaks to controlling one’s emotions and having command over your spirit. However, this can’t be done in our strength. We have to be willing to take the key of self-control and see it as something God wants to use to bring us to another level of submission to Him. If you view self-control as a restriction, you won’t be able to view it as a power tool. I used to think if I didn’t respond to someone rude or nasty to me, that meant I was weak. I later learned that when I exercise self-control, it gives God room to fight for me and I grow more in that area.
2) Self-control is your marker for growth. Whenever God wants to lead us into another level of growth, He will require us to surrender the things that we desire, especially if He gave us those desires. One way to know that you’re exercising self-control is to relinquish control of your desires by placing them in God’s hands. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to be in Hollywood before God’s time for me but practicing self-control by not jumping ahead of God or even trying to access individuals that He’s shown me that I’ll work with shows growth and maturity. Nothing grows us up quicker than not submitting to our flesh when we want our way.
3) Self-control helps you mature in the fruit of The Spirit. If I can practice self-control, then walking in love, kindness, meekness, joy, and longsuffering becomes a little easier. If I can rule my spirit like Proverbs 16:32 states, then I can better control my responses to anything that comes up, especially difficulty. One of the ways I know I’m exercising self-control is when I’m loving those who may not deserve it; when I’m kind to mean individuals; and when I’m able to experience joy in the face of circumstances where I should be sad and frustrated.
Whether or not you see self-control as the fruit that holds all the others together or you don’t, the reality is, that this series was meant to teach you one thing – Don’t talk about it. Be about it. Let your fruit speak. People will want to learn more about Christ by how we walk, not how we talk. There are thousands of people every day claiming to love Christ online, but they don’t look like Him in real life. Work to be a walking billboard for Christ, not a blinking sign on the side of the freeway.
I would love to hear how this series blessed you. What situations are you currently in where you can discern God trying to cultivate the fruit of The Spirit in your life? What areas would you like to grow in more? What areas have you seen growth?
Let’s talk. Reply to this post with your comments. I’ll be sure to respond.
Have you ordered your Holiday & Beyond 2024 Issue of our magazine? Remember, every article in the issue will take you beyond the holidays. Girls Anthem Magazine is officially launched! Look out for our January/February double issue coming January 20th online and January 24th in Print and PDF.