I know. Life is hard, challenging and oftentimes, overwhelming. But I still need me some storm sisters when life gets hard.
We live in a day and age where people post on social media all day, but will forget to live their lives in real time, sometimes neglecting those who need them most. This goes for entrepreneurs to.
As someone who used to be angry, hurtful to others and sometimes, downright evil, I thank God for those who stood by my side and prayed me through to the other side. But one thing I will say about those times that made it hard for anyone to be around me - I was still very loyal and when I gave my word, I stood by it.
If I told you I would be there, then I showed up - for the party and the funeral. I remember back in 2012, when I was living in Atlanta, there was a young lady that worked at Olive Garden with me.
By this time, God was just getting started with my transformation - but, I was still rooted in Him and always stayed covered. This young lady was taking massage classes and she was asking people to come in and sign up for free massages. It helped her a great deal and all you had to do was tip her, but it wasn’t a requirement.
I made an appointment and showed up. Heck, it was a free massage. Why not? When she came out to greet me, she said something to me that was surprising, especially since we weren’t necessarily friends.
“I knew that if nobody else was going to show up, Mya would.”
Someone who I hadn’t known that long was able to see my consistency, even though we had no previous history of having to support one another.
My point? No matter what life throws your way, you have to be able to be a storm sister. Storm sisters show up no matter how crazy life gets for them. They may not show up at the exact moment, you need them, but they show up.
I realized that I came from a family of givers who often show up more for others than they do for themselves. To some degree, that’s not healthy. But I will say it’s innate for me to be consistent in my relationships.
Does that mean I’ve never let anyone down? No. Does that mean that I’m perfect in my pursuit of being a storm sister? No. But it does mean that I make it my mission to be all God has called me to be as a person, a friend, a sister, a daughter and whatever else I need to be at the moment, without making excuses.
Before I give you tips on being (and identyfing) a storm sister, I want to let you know how important this is to the root of this newsletter:
Your relationships play a large part in your ability to be stable in your emotions, your psyche and your spirit. Without stability in these areas, we risk contaminating our legacies because we become depleted and have nothing to give to that which God has called us to build.
3 Keys to Being A Storm Sister
Ask God First. We often start relationships, friendships and business partnerships without first going to God. Even the most mature believer may subconciously initate something and then pull God in when it starts to look and feel crazy. I guarantee you when you ask God first, He’ll let you know exactly what role that person is to play in your life.
Cleanse your space. You have to cleanse your space of anything and anyone who takes more than they give. I’m not saying we give to people expecing something in return, but what I am saying is there should never be people around you making more withdrawals than deposits. When you cleanse your space, you’re able to give to those who God has placed in your life and not neglect those who are giving to you.
Be Consistent. The reality is, life does get busy. Nobody is saying we need to be five-year-old little girls spending the night at each other’s house every weekend. In fact, we don’t need to “see” each other much at all. However, consistent means to be unchanging in nature and standard. I don’t care if we skype, text, call or email, consistency is what matters most. Be consistent in word and deed.
3 Keys to Identifying A Storm Sister
Listen with your heart, eyes and ears. Sometimes, people say things about themselves without ever saying a word. Actions are everything in relationships and when you listen with your heart, eyes and ears, you will know if someone is in your life for the long haul and can handle being a storm sister.
Check their fruit. This doesn’t give you permission to listen to gossip or rumors about someone you may be letting in your life. However, before making a decision about someone’s place in your life, take some time to check the fruit of their life - see how they talk to people, treat people, handle their finances, post on social media, honor their family, etc. You may end up saving yourself a lot of time (and money).
Are they remorseful? The reality is, people are human and disappointments will come. This doesn’t mean they aren’t a storm sister. But do you have to chase them down for an apology? Are they understanding of how you feel when you experess yourself (in love) about how they hurt you? My biggest pet peeve is hearing someone say “I have a lot going on.” Well, if God put it all on your plate, including our relationship, He knew you would have the grace to handle it all. The question is: Did He put it all on your plate or did you?
This isn’t about attacking anyone who is currently in your space nor is it about placing expectations on people. This is about being clear about the position people play in your life. This way, you aren’t placing expectations on people who were never meant to fulfill that role. Pray and ask God who your storm sisters are and move accordingly.
As for our daughters, it’s never too early to identify your storm sisters. You can apply the same wisdom to your relationships.